What is love?

Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more ...

I have two wonderful roommates. Incredible women that have helped me, ok probably more like, pushed me to continually reflect on who I am and why I might feel a certain way. They're the ones that know me despite how I might express myself externally. Probably because what I would hide to most people in a subdued, stoney, professional and proper demeanor, they get to see when I get home and just let the rage, ecstasy, or whatever come out like a small tiger bursting out of perfect, sealed, origami box.

So the question of the night last night was "what is love?" And yes, for you non-mushy types out there, we are talking romantic love. (Apologies.) For once in my life, I thought I had an answer. Bold, I know. But I very craftily worked into the logic of my answer that love is different for everyone. Crafty, I know.

So here is my love in two parts:

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1. Love is when

All the things that are right for you about a loved one outweigh all the things that you seemingly can't stand about them.

So you stand them.

You realize that what you want is not half as important as what you already have. Romantic notions of happily ever after, how you think you deserve to be treated, the need to look out for your best interests - all become unimportant because that fairytale life is not your fairytale.

So you grow up.

You stop thinking what if this person isn't the best that I can do? Because you know that like the two halves of cracked plate or a lock and the key that opens it, all your perfections and imperfections are right for each other.

So you take a leap of faith. And then that brings us to commitment.

2. Commitment is when

Through good times and bad, no matter how that person may be during those times, you believe in them. You are there for them. You let them see that their problems are bigger than yours.

So you give. And then you give some more.

Even though you know that people don't change, you begin to believe that it's not changing you're asking for, but learning. Because people can learn, can't they? Can't they?

And so you are desperate.



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A couple more things:
- Love sometimes is unfortunately, one-sided. Especially for the picky.
- The above was the definition of what it is to love. Not to be in love.
- There's love and then there's the expression of love. You love somebody for who they are, not how they show you their love.
- If how they show their love is not enough for you, that has nothing to do about what I'm talking about here. That has to do with a relationship and fueling it.
- Love is something you know, commitment is something you do.

And yes, I know this is incomplete, and shallow, and probably not the most understandable or interesting. Oi. I suck.