Social Experiment

All my life - ok not all my life - but ever since i got rid of the bangs and grew my hair out - which is pretty much beore i can even remember, people have told me not to cut my hair. Their actual words were probably "NOOOOOOO! DON'T CUT your HAIR!" Especially coming from my mother who supervised practically every haircut I painfully went through as a child. With reasons like "your hair is your best attribute" and "your face will look fat." So what's a girl got to do after a nasty heartbreak and taking the first wobbly newborn-calf-like steps of a newly single woman? Well, see what's left of me when I cut it all off, of course!

I admit, I did not go into this without a single ounce of fear. I did honestly question whether I had it in me to chop. I'm vain about my hair. Heck, I'm vain, period. But if I didn't try, I'll never know - and doing some jumping might be good for me.

The new do is even shorter than I had in mind, but my hairdresser, Johnny from a fob store called Trend 2000, really believes in "movement." And thus layering - which means it just gets shorter and shorter. Not that I'm complaining - I highly recommend Johnny. Before he started, I asked him to cut it short but keep it feminine. He said: "no, not possible." I asked him "can I pull it off?" And he said. "It should be ok." Not exactly the kind of assurance i was looking for. I was going to chicken out, but then he asked me, "why do you want to cut your hair?" My answer: "I just want a change." And he said ok - that's a good reason.

When he was done, my first emotion was fear. There was nothing left of me - a boy was looking back at me in the mirror. Either that, or an Asian mom. (Which one's worse?) I better freaking like singledom, because it wasn't going to end any time soon, or at least not in the next year with the average growth rate of hair being 6 inches per year - yes I was freaked out enough to look that up online.

But I'm also really happy that I didn't cry this time over the hair that I had parted with - if I thought about it, that was around 1.5 years of growing. 9 inches of hair that had been a part of me for longer than my last couple relationships. But, heck the desire for some kind of an adventure was just greater this time.

The best part about dramatic changes is when people notice them. And my hair has been more noticed than anything else I have ever done. I'm not sure what that says about my past life changes, but this one's definitely noticeable. So what exactly does long hair connote in someone's mind? Thus, we begin the social experiment.

For starters, it's a unanimous vote, if I were a Sex and the City girl, I would be Charlotte. No one really can explain why, maybe they just don't want to say that I have a stick up my butt and am neurotic beyong compare, but everyone agrees I just am. And how long is Charlotte's hair? Long. So if I cut my hair, am I no longer Charlotte? Do I seem to have too much attitude? Am I now too boyish? Regardless of whether I care who I'm compared to, how much of my likeness was attribute to a certain demure, feminine, even girly appearance?

At work, does anything change? Do I look older? Younger? Worthy of more or less respect? You must think that I'm putting a lot of thought to a rather superficial change, and I am. Because I will not be afraid to admit that appearances do matter as first impressions. It's sad, but true. They don't matter at all once you get to know someone, but this world is brutal!

A friend of mine also told me about one author's take on the sexual energy between two people. His theory is that you need sexual polarity. One person needs to play the role of the traditional masculine and the other the feminine. If deep down, I'm flat out fem, do I no longer look the part? Not that I care about sexual energy or anything ...

Just a few things to ponder as we embark on our social experiment...